In The News gunk this morning: Alcohol prices.

The government have decided that the best way to tackle the rising drink problem is to increase the minimum price per unit of alcohol… no seriously they think that will work. 

The British Medical Association are backing the move that could see the minimum price for a unit of booze rise to 50p per unit… no seriously they think that will work.

The net effect would be that some of the cheapest alcoholic products available from supermarkets could go up by as much as 100%… good lord!... No seriously they think that will work... really?

As you may have gathered I personally don’t think this initiative will have even the slightest effect on the drink problems of the UK at all.  And those problems are almost pandemic in their scope.  If it were not self inflicted, alcohol would be considered a plague.  The amount of damage done is staggering and to most people invisible.  Forget the burden on the NHS, forget the cost of appropriately policing every town centre across the country  every Friday and Saturday night, forget the lives lost on the roads or in random acts of violence, forget the lives shattered by spiralling addiction, forget all that. The one thing taken away from us all and something that almost nobody attributes to alcohol is the loss of our freedom.

Sound a little convoluted for ya?  Well think about this. 

We have over the last ten years lost the freedom to roam the high streets of our home towns at will in safety.  That freedom has been taken away from us.  The freedom to pop down the shops for a loaf of bread and a packet of cigarettes in the evening has been taken away from us.  The freedom to send our kids down to the chip shop with smiles on their faces and sweaty coins in their little hands, has been taken away from us… by alcohol. 

I'm sure it's not the same everywhere, but I'm also sure that if something isn't done soon it WILL be the same everywhere.  The streets have been claimed by the drunken and teen-aged… they are a scary force, unpredictable, aggressive, arrogant, vast in their numbers and often sinister is their intent.  They are everywhere and they are fucking scary, walk alone down Southend high street after nine pm if you don’t believe me.

If the government seriously thinks that putting the price of supermarket cider up is going to solve any problems (apart form the problem of making cider more profitable) then they are clearly retarded.

The British Medical Association recently stated:
"We are concerned with alcohol being as cheap as it is - and particularly high-strength alcohol.  The results are lots of under-age people drinking to excess."

Hang on a minute, that's bollocks for so many reasons I don’t know where to point first… ok now I do.  Firstly are the BMA now all of a sudden THE expert authority on social cause and effect?  How can they state that the "result" of cheap alcohol is lots of underage people drinking to excess?  How do they know that, have they done studies to determine this "fact"? Are there no other factors at all?  Does it all simply come down to the price?

Secondly what about all the fucking arseholes who are not under-age that drink to excess… what about them arseholes eh?  They are by far a bigger burden on society than the under-age drinkers surely, so why not target them?

Thirdly and lastly surely the fact that under-age people are drinking has fuck all to do with the price of the booze and a hell of a lot to do with making sure they don’t get access to the booze no matter how much it fucking costs!

Oi government if you really want to make a difference instead of just wanting to create the appearance of wanting to make a difference:

1: Raise the minimum drinking age to 21 and then fucking police it properly with all the resources you will unquestioningly save by doing so.

2: Send out some mystery shoppers, test the bars and clubs properly

3: If anyone gets caught selling alcohol to someone under-age hit the store/bar/club with a million pound fine or three years inside for the company director. No compromise and zero tolerance.

4: If anyone gets caught buying alcohol for someone else who’s under-age, then hit em with a hundred thousand pound fine or three years inside. No compromise and zero tolerance.

These four simple little things would turn the problem round overnight. And if anyone says that the problem is more complex than that, well then...they clearly don’t want to solve the problem.

It's not fucking rocket science is it.