My eldest son can recite the mathematical conundrum that is "pi" to 100 decimal places, my youngest son is working to memorize the periodic table. I personally can recall the results from every Superbowl from the time they began up until 1986 (Bears 46, Patriots 10 btw), and my lovely other half  can sing the song La Bamba in Spanish with gusto, despite the fact that she cannot speak Spanish.

Are we a family of geniuses?  Are we the results of some crazy experiment? Are we gifted with bitter sweet super mental powers at the cost of our social skills like Rainman?...

I'm not sure why I'm addicted to chilli but I am. Since my first introduction to Indian food I've been fascinated with the spicy side of cuisine. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the sort of person who constantly selects the hottest thing on the menu, and then gripes about how "mild" it is (no matter what damage it might actually be doing to my taste buds), oh no. If something is hot, I'll be the first to let you know about it. Meals that are considered "hot" are generally a little too hot for me. And yet I seem to have a consummate obsession with fresh raw chilli.

Well it's done… I hated every microsecond of it but thankfully it is now over for one year at least. The Tax Man has been paid.

One of the dangers of encountering a Misery Vampire is not so much how they can change your life, but how much you can change it yourself if you decide to stand up to them.

When one of their number chose me as a victim, it was the realization that I was changing myself and that I was about to step outside of my own moral code that shook me the most.  Thankfully, realizing that such a change was happening allowed me to take stock and stop those changes and in the end I think that might have saved someone's life while also saving myself from becoming something terrible.

"Misery Vampire" is I think, too charismatic a name for the people who exhibit behaviour that defines them as such.  Pointless Puke Sack or Worthless Shit Hound are much more apt names, but are not nearly as catchy and memorable, so I guess Misery Vampire will have to do.  If you’ve never heard this phrase before let me explain what it actually means.  A Misery Vampire is a person who for whatever reason thrives on the misery of others.  There are many reasons why a person might develop this type of personality and I by no means claim to understand or even know them all, but one thing is for sure… there is very little short of murder or becoming almost a complete recluse that can rid oneself of a Misery Vampire if one of them decides to latch their misery fangs into you.

Over the years I have done many things some of which I'm sure you don't want to hear about (in fact I'm certain), but this little blog isn't about them so don’t panic. This particular blog is about all of the things that (ironically as you will see) in my infinite wisdom I have decided are contrary to a healthy life and a healthy mind. There are just three of them so this should be pretty short.

They are (in rising order of evilness):

• Cars
• Arrogance
• Television

As some of you may know I had a major trauma event in my life not so long ago , my wife and partner of 14 years up and left me, which as I may have mentioned and as I'm sure you can imagine knocked me back a bit.

I won't bore you with the details (not today anyway), but suffice to say I entered a long and dangerous depression. I never sought or received any professional help and to cut a long story short I ended up standing on the hand rail of a bridge one snowy winter's night (I'm nothing if not melodramatic) over a freezing and completely lethal river… and I remember looking down into those dark and icy waters and thinking they seemed pretty damned inviting down there.